All people have their own comfort zone. For some that zone may be sitting on their sofa in the living room drinking a nice cup of tea. For others the comfort zone may be a metaphorical place rather then a physical location. An example of this is someone whose comfort zone is being in a debate. Whether it be an actual location or a more abstract place, all comfort zones share common traits. When we are there, we feel relaxed, safe, at ease, or in a word comfortable.

            Our comfort zone can be both a positive and negative influence on our life. When life is becoming constantly hectic, we use our comfort zone as a place to retreat from the stress and rejuvenate. One might be asking now, what can be negative about being in a place where you are relaxed? The problem that can occur when we spend too much time in the comfort zone is that we may become like static characters in a novel that never take risks, never learn, never change, and thus never grow as a person.

            In order to mature as a person, sometimes we need to venture into the discomfort zone where we may feel stressed, anxious, overwhelmed, or uncomfortable. It is in this place where we have the possibility of transformational learning where we not only learn, but also fundamentally change in some way as a person. An example of this may be a shy teenager who loves to write music and play his or her guitar in their bedroom, but attempts to overcome their stage fright and perform in front of the crowd. Up on the state in front of a people watching them, they may be out of their comfort zone; but, that risk taking experience will most likely change them in some way that playing guitar in their bedroom never could have. Sometimes we venture even father out of the comfort zone then the discomfort zone and we reach a place called the alarm zone. Here we feel unsafe, fearful, vulnerable, and may even panic.

            The mass media is one of the many societal influences that attempts to convince people that it is best to always stay in their comfort zone. It starts at an early age with children’s fairy tales (more on that later) and continues into adulthood when we are bombarded with advertisements touting the virtues of the latest mattress, car, pill, sofa, food, et al. that will make us feel more comfortable.

            As a Pre-K teacher, I have noticed that the socialization of the need for comfort happens very early in life. By the age of seven, I think most children have heard the phrase “and they lived happily ever after” a few hundred times at the very least. While seeming innocuous, that phrase carries with it a subliminal message that stays with us until adulthood. The message is that after overcoming some tribulation or resolving some conflict that we should enter a state of endless contentment. This runs contrast to the realities of life where even people who have all the trapping that we associate with comfort such as marriage, a nice house, 2.7 children, a plasma HD T.V., and the vacation to Hawaii still face discomfort on a daily basis. This unachievable ideal of a comfortable happily ever after life is the emotional vein that marketers tap in order to bleed the money out of our wallets.

            Today, we are seeing more and more niche marketing or to use a recently coined phrase narrowcasting instead of broadcasting. One of the reasons this is the case is because marketing types have come to realize what anyone who has known at least one other person in their life most likely already figured out; everyone’s comfort zone is different. Not only is it different, but most people’s comfort zone has odd quirks that don’t often make sense on the surface. I will use some personal examples. If I am asked to give a presentation in a large room where I have to stand in front of a group of a hundreds people, and I will feel completely calm. On the flip side, ask me to give a talk in front of a group of four people and I will feel tense, my blood pressure will rise, and I will stammer and slur my words. I have had many friends over the years who are the exact opposite of me in that regard.

            This leads me to my theory (which I generally don’t believe but like to ponder) that the idea some people handle pressure better then other people is a misnomer like Mia Hamm. A perfect example of this is in sports where many people are considered clutch performers who handle pressure well. Lets look at the most famous athlete of my life time, Michael Jordan.  Give Michael Jordan a basketball when the game is on the line and thousands are watching live and millions more are watching on T.V. and he will most likely succeed where others fail. Since most people if given a basketball and told to make a shot while millions of people where watching would be more nervous then a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, most assume that Michael Jordan does a great job of handling that immense pressure. On the other hand, for someone like Michael Jordan with a combination of natural basketball ability and tons of experience on the court, being in the situation where he needs to make a game winning shot may in fact be his comfort zone. Michael Jordan may sweet like a pig and have a nervous break down if he was told to playBeethoven’s Symphony number 9 in front of a million people to win the game because as far as I know he has no music talent nor does he practice playing the piano.  It is a self centered fallacy when we assume that others are in a discomfort zone because we would be in a discomfort zone if we were in their shoes or in the case of Jordan, in his Nikes.