I have a modest proposal for a  T.V. show called Illegal Immigrant Idol. In the show a group of illegal immigrants compete in a variety of reality show style competitions such as singing, answering 5th grade level questions, losing weight et al. Each week, one of the illegal immigrants is voted off of the show; but instead of being voted off the island like in Survivor, they are voted out of the country. The last illegal immigrant left would win American Citizenship, an apple pie, a baseball, a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence, and 2 gas guzzling SUVs. The show would be produced by the American Government and all the advertising revenue it generated would go towards paying for border patrol agents and E.S.L. programs in public schools.