Too many Karaoke songs have become cliché. I am looking at you Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing” and Sir-Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back.” Thus, I have created a new list of 10 non-cliché Karaoke songs that Karaoke bars should have on their playlist and that people should begin the process of running into the ground faster than you can say “Living On A Prayer.”

1. Nookie by Limp Bizkit: Remember Limp Bizkit? Of course you do. They had 2 albums that nearly sold 10 million copies each. But in many ways it seems like we have wiped them out of our collective cultural consciousness as we sit around debating the merits of Sufjan Stevens like mildly pretentious assholes. . We forget Limb Bizkit’s existence for good reason; Bizkit was the band that brought what is the worst genre in music history to the masses, White Boy Rap Rock. That being said, we as a society must own up to our atrocities in order to grow as a people. Thus, we must resurrect Limp Bizkit’s Nookie in Karaoke form in order to exercise these cultural demons and appreciate the brilliance of Wes Borland’s bass line and Fred Durst’s poetry of the everyday dumbass white male. For the record, I did not write that last part facetiously; It is a great fucking song and if you don’t agree with me you can take this cookie and stick it up your… Furthermore it works in a Karaoke setting because pretty much any inebriated person could successfully imitate Fred Durst’s conversational flow and yelling and the call and answer aspects of the song will get everyone else at the bar involved.  Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTMVOzPPtiw&feature=channel

2. Wake Up by Arcade Fire: Many time Karaoke Bar events coincide with situations when you might be hanging out with people who you knew when you were a kid such as High School/Family Reunions. Wake Up is the perfect Karaoke song for situations like that. The part of the songs when they go “oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” demand participations from large groups of people as you sing it and the opening guitar riff is instantly epic. This song may have been to obscure to do as a Karaoke song when it first came out 6 years ago but thanks to it being featured in NFL Commercials during the Super Bowl and during The Where The Wild Things Are Trailer I think it has reached proper cultural saturation to be used in Karaoke. In addition, the lyrics will most likely bring tears to the eyes to anyone overly emotional from being around people who they knew as children or who have had a few too many. Sample Lyrics:

Somethin’ filled up
my heart with nothin’,
someone told me not to cry.

But now that I’m older,
my heart’s colder,
and I can see that it’s a lie.
Children wake up,
hold your mistake up,

before they turn the summer into dust.

If the children don’t grow up,
our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up.
We’re just a million little god’s causin rain storms turnin’ every good thing to rust.

I guess we’ll just have to adjuuuuuuuuuuussssssssssssssssssttttttttttttttttttt.

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jq6M4PWKvq4&feature=related

3. Party In The USA by Miley Cyrus: Hell, this may already be a Karaoke staple for all I know.  I put this on here with reservations because of her Disney connections (Warner Brothers 4life) and  because some people around her inner circle are Douche Canoes  but I nor anyone can deny that is a perfectly constructed pop song. In a Karaoke setting, there are just so many lines in the song that could be played for laughs: “all I see are stilettos, I guess I never got the memo” would especially gets some laughs for dudes singing it. It also allows for adlibbing while on stage, as you can change the name of the artist whose song is on in the chorus to fit your own personal tastes as long as said artist has 2 syllables in their name like Britney or Jay Z.  (if you don’t know how to count syllables, feel free to sit in on one of my syllable clapping activities as work) Personally, I have been on a kick since November 4^th of 08 where I have been supporting everything that could even be remotely considered patriotic in an uber-over the top way that rivals hack saw Jim Duggin’s flag waving so this song fits into that paradigm as well

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M11SvDtPBhA

4. Sometime Around Midnight by The Airborne Toxic Event: This is a great Karaoke song if you recently ended a relationship and the all-time perfect Karaoke song if an ex happens to be in the same bar as you and the time is sometime around midnight. The song would be kind of a meta-Karaoke as the lyrics are sung from the perspective of someone who spots an ex in a crowded bar. Moreover, the songs slow build up, emoting in the way the lyrics need to be sung, and the closing flourish of “you just have to see her, you just have to see her, you just have to see her, you just have to see her, you know that she’ll break you in two” make it the perfect choice for over the top Karaoke style singing.

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKEu3EmBCzQ&feature=related

5. Best I Ever Had by Drake: As some readers of my ramblings might know, I think Drake is overrated and is more like an even more stream Faboulous than the next hope for a truly great MC like some people are making him out to be. Having said that, a great Karaoke hip hop song does not require greatness. For one thing, it cannot be too obscure. No one is going to know what fucking song you are doing if you are up there rapping Jay Electronica’s Exhibit C, nor is any Karaoke bar ever going to  have that song as a selection. Best I Ever Had works for Karaoke for a number of reasons. For one, it would be easy to do other aspects of a performance with it, such as pointing to different people at the bar while singing the smugly ironic chorus: “She make me beg for it till she give it up-And I say the same thing every single time-I say you the fucking best, you the fucking best-You the fucking best, you the fucking best-You the best I ever had, best I ever had-Best I ever had, best I ever had” Secondly, the music that goes along with the song is actually quite beautiful. Just watch this video of David Sides doing the entire thing on the piano if you don’t believe me:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrgvOMF5k1U&feature=related Thirdly, Drake does have quite a few brilliant punch lines especially in the middle of the last verse. (you know which ones I mean) Finally, the biggest problem that I think is preventing Drake from being great is not his lyrics which are usually really good but the fact he does not have a great voice and in Karaoke, you would not have to actually hear Drake voice so it is all good.

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw-Lpkq8JcA

So there you have it. 5 songs that can be added to songs that should be run into the ground at Karaoke that will hopefully prevent us all from hearing one more person singing “Don’t Stop Believing”