In honor of the memory of the recently passed professional old curmudgeon Andy Rooney, here is a game of who said it, Andy Rooney or Grandpa Abe Simpson:  The Answers are at the bottom of the page:

1. Vegetarian, that’s just an old Indian word for lousy hunter

2.  I used to be with it, but then they changed what "it" was. Now, what I'm with isn't it, and what “it” is seems weird and scary to me.

3. Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

4. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time.

5. To take the ferry cost a nickel. And in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Gimmie five bees for a quarter, you'd say

6. Life is like a roll of toilet paper - the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

7. "The following is a list of words I never want to hear on television again. Number one: bra. Number two: horny. Number three: family jewels." 

8. Computers make it easier to do a lot of things; but most of those things don’t need to be done.

9. "My car gets forty rods to the hogshead and that's the way I like it"

10. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage” 

1. Andy Rooney

2. Grandpa Simpson

3. Andy Rooney

4. Grandpa Simpson

5. Grandpa Simpson

6. Andy Rooney

7. Grandpa Simpson

8. Andy Rooney

9. Grandpa Simpson

10. Andy Rooney